


So the Queen of Moondoor is Sitting in the Batcave...

by 222Ravens



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Far less cracky than the title might suggest, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-01
Updated: 2013-02-01
Packaged: 2017-11-27 20:07:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/665947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/222Ravens/pseuds/222Ravens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in a lovely wonderful future time when Castiel, Garth, the Trans, Charlie, and potentially Benny all join the brothers in their new Bat Cave/secret hideout, they are all getting along super well, trying to solve the tablet issues, the wardings on the place keep out Naomi's influences so Castiel is safe, and Charlie ships Destiel like Fed-Ex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So the Queen of Moondoor is Sitting in the Batcave...

**Author's Note:**

> Brief reference to past dubcon/noncon, but not much more explicitly implied than in canon. (Alistair, etc.)

“And… That’s most of what we know about angels, really, so I guess you’re up to speed with the rest of us.”

 

Charlie nods, pauses, then thinks _oh, let’s go for it._

 

“Oh, one more question. Angels, they don’t really have, like, a gender, right? So he could have a vessel that’s a chick, and Cas would be, you know, a she?”

 

_Come on, Dean, take the bait._

 

Dean stares at Charlie, incredulously. “Sort of? I mean… Uhh… With Raphael it was kinda… I guess I never really thought about it. _Huh_. ” 

 

Charlie sighs. 

 

 _Finally, the cogs turneth._  

 

She forces a conspiratorial grin. “I’m just saying, if that was a female vessel, I would totally hit that.”

 

_Except not. At all. Because I do not hit that which my friends have such serious prior claim to. Hence the entirety of this conversation._

 

“Wait, what?” Dean says, his voice squawking. “Seriously, Charlie. _No._ Do not go there. Don’t even _think_ about going there.” 

 

 _This is going even better than expected._  

 

Charlie shrugs casually. “Heeyyy… Didn’t say I was going to. Still, I’ve kissed a fairy, why not add an angel to the list? Could be hot.” 

 

She winks, and Dean chokes.

 

_Ahahaha. Success._

 

“Cause he’s a dude, and you’re… You know… _Notadudeliker._ ” Dean finishes in a whisper, glancing over at Cas, who is at the other end of the room in the Batcave (because that’s totally what they are calling it), flipping through a book.

 

_Notadudeliker? Projectttinng..._

 

Charlie rolls her eyes. “Hey, I’m attracted to the gender, not so much the body. And Cas doesn’t really have one, so that makes them pretty much fair game for all. But relax, I’m not gonna move in on you before you’ve got your game figured out.”

 

More spluttering. Cas looks up, his brow furrowed, and smiles hesitantly at Dean, who gives him a stiff smile and a thumbs-up until the angel returns to their reading.

 

“Dude… What are you talking about? I’m not…”

 

_Come on, Dean, keep up._

 

“Seriously….  Even you choose to be stubborn and ignore the entirety of our conversation right there about angel gender… I have seriously good gaydar, and you sir, are not entirely straight.”

 

The sight of Dean’s flushed face is enough to make Charlie press on.

 

“Have you ever, you know… Been with a guy?”

 

Dean’s expression shuts down completely. “Not having this conversation.”

 

Charlie frowns, exasperated, then her face falls, noticing Dean’s own expression. 

 

_Crap. Charlie. Why do you have to be so nosy? That is the face of ‘had experience, most of it neither good or safe and some of it not entirely consensual’, and/or ‘I spent my entire life trying to repress this kinda stuff’._

 

_Oh god. Dean. Poor guy._

 

 _“_ Shit. Sorry. Didn’t mean to push. I’ll… Just shut up, now.” Charlie grabs her laptop and starts typing in the long sequence of numbers and letters that comprises the first line of her password encryptions. Paranoid? Not when there really are things out to get you. Like demons. 

 

It’s a small miracle they even get Wifi down here, but she’s hardly complaining about that one.

 

_There are demons trying to kill us all and I’m trying to set up a surly plaid wearing semi-alcoholic closet-case and a probably pansexual agendered Angel of the Lord and thinking about my wireless internet connection._

 

 _I am so_ Hermione _right now. As in ‘seriously need to sort out my priorities’._

 

Dean turns back to his book and reads for a few minutes. Cas puts his own book down, and walks out of the room, probably to go talk to Kevin about the whole tablet thing.

 

The minute the door closes, Dean glances up, and closes his book. _“_ It’s complicated, okay?”

 

_Yes!_

 

Charlie closes her laptop, very slowly.

 

“Yeahh… I get that. The whole Leviathans thing? Crowley? Hell? Purgatory? Apocalypses? Apocali? Buffy was right, what the heck is the plural of that? Regardless.. Complicated is a mild word for it. Seriously. You’ve been through a lot together. If it wasn’t complicated, there probably would be something wrong with you two.”

 

The hunter’s face softens. “Charlie, what I told you is barely even the Cliff Notes. Trust me, it is even more messed up than that. And he and I… I don’t know.”

 

“But obviously you care about him?” Charlie presses.

 

Dean smiles brokenly. “Honestly? Yes. A whole lot. The last time he died, and when . I was pretty messed up for a really long time, and I tried to blame it on all kinds of other stuff, but yeah. I care about the guy, okay?”

 

“Okay, good start. I get it. I am not exactly the model for someone who tends to have particularly stable relationships. Life is complicated. This isn’t books or movies when you have… Well, okay, in your case, your life is literally a series of books, but only up to a certain point. After which he pulled you out of Hell and literally saved you and _fell for you_ , and...”

 

Dean groans. “Oh, god, you read Chuck’s books?”

 

_Deflecting, Dean. But I’ll bite._

 

“If by Chuck you mean Carver Edlund, then yeah. What was up with that guy?”

 

“He was the last prophet of the lord. We think. Not sure what happened to the guy.”

 

_Interesting..._

 

“Oh, like Kevin? Cool. Still, God couldn’t have picked a better writer? Because, seriously, some of those descriptions were just painful.”

 

Dean laughs. “Yeah. I couldn’t even finish them, and I lived through that crap.”

 

_Okay, Charlie, focus. Back on track._

 

“I’m just saying… Think about that. Look, the guy fell for you, in pretty much ever sense of the word, from what I can tell by the way he looks at you. You aren’t imagining that. It’s definitely there. And I’m not saying go jump the guy, but… Maybe think about letting him know exactly how much you care about him, regardless of how exactly that is. It might help the both of you out.“

 

Dean scowls. “It’s… I don’t get to have… Relationships are something I just… I don’t want to screw thing up. Trust me, it’s better this way, okay? ” 

 

_Arrghh… Stupid emotionally repressive men._

 

“Better or easier?”

 

The look on Dean’s face now is vindication enough.

 

_w00t._

 

“That’s what I thought.”

 

She picks her laptop up and leaves the room quietly, leaving Dean there to think.

 

 _My work here is almost done. But not_ just _yet._

 

Charlie finds Cas in the kitchen unit of the place, staring at the slowly bubbling coffemaker.

 

“Angels drink coffee?”

 

Castiel turns to her, startled. “Oh. No. Not generally. But Dean looked like he would appreciate some.”

 

_Bingo._

 

Charlie leans forward, smiling. “Oh… Yeah… _Definitely._ You should totally bring him some. And, you know, ask him how he’s doing and stuff. Chat? ”

 

He stares at her suspiciously. “Is there something I should know?”

 

_Oh, might as well push from both ends. Let’s get this frakking ship sailing.._

 

“Nope. Just… I think he.. Worries about you.” She offers. 

 

“He shouldn’t.” Cas mumbles, looking away and rummaging for spoons.

 

_Oh my god. Even angels pull the ‘don’t want to talk about emotions so I’m going to act busy’ thing._

 

Charlie grabs the sugar and a mug, and puts it down loudly in front of the angel. He stares at it, then her, perplexed.

 

“Hey. Just go talk to him, okay?”

 

Cas freezes, his shoulders clenching, then relaxes slowly. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. What if…”

 

_And you can officially cut the emotional repression around here with a knife. Sword. Wow… Might even take a lightsaber._

 

“Hey, that Naomi whatever can’t get to you here to mess with you, right, with all the wards and stuff? Everything going to be fine. Well, I can’t exactly promise that. But it’ll help. Honestly. I meant it. He… Just go talk to him.” 

 

_Come on…._

 

Eventually, he nods, pours the coffee, adds the sugar, grabs a spoon, and says, "Thank you," stiffly. Then leaves the room hastily, a determined expression on his face.

 

The minute he rounds the corner, Charlie smiles and starts doing a admittedly thoroughly dorky victory dance.

 

_Who says I don’t take care of my handmaidens?_

 


End file.
